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He Was Looking for Confidence in all the Wrong Places

2/21/2018

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L. Jean Dunn
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Definition of Confidence:

A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. A belief in one’s ability to succeed.

The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

Hebrews 10:35-37: “Cast not away therefor your confidence which hath great recompense of reward. For ye hath need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry.”
​
As an entrepreneur I live in the world of self-confidence. I look at investors in the eye and tell them that our business will reach its objectives. I tell customers that our products are the best solution for their needs and we can deliver. I am a cheerleader to our employees, encouraging them to move forward and not doubt their abilities. “You can do it. We’re going to make it.”

But in reality, I have no idea. I have no idea if sales will close. I do not really know if our products will work for our customers. I have no idea as to whether we will meet our financial objectives. As I lay in bed at night or wander around the house I have my doubts. I pray for more self-confidence. I try to find it in books, seminars and articles. It has always proved to be short lived and ephemeral.

Lately, I have discovered that perhaps I have been looking for confidence in the wrong places. More importantly, perhaps I was using the wrong definition of the word. Confidence comes not from the belief in one’s capabilities, but from one’s belief about the truth. That truth comes from God. His Son has promised that he will be with us always. Whether we hit our financial objectives or not. Whether someone buys the product or not. I have no doubt that He is with me. And of greater importance is the fact that “He is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine according to his power that is at work in me (Ephesians 3:20).”

​So whatever questions, whatever doubts that creep in I know that God is with me and He can do more than I have ever dreamed.  My confidence comes from my belief in Him and, if I continue on, I will receive the promise. No matter what happens, “Everything gonna be alright,” as Bob Marley has sung. I am on the winning team. God is for me! Who can be against me?  (Romans 8:31)
​



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Amidst Another Mass Shooting, We Consider How to Love More Than We Hurt

2/18/2018

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by Paula M. Fitzgibbons
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On Ash Wednesday, as we in the church pondered both love and death, 17 children were killed — and many more wounded — in yet another school shooting. This time, the lives were lost in Parkland, Florida.

It is natural to respond to such news by either fighting or fleeing. As a parent of three teenagers, I wanted nothing more than to hide the news from my children and go about our Valentine’s Day/Ash Wednesday events. Others jumped into argument mode, immediately debating the issues that arise when there is a mass shooting. There is a reason we hold a strong fight or flight response: it helps us to survive even the thought of such incomprehensible atrocities.

There is another response we can work to muster, though. We can take action. On Ash Wednesday, we considered our own sin and mortality. “I think we need to ask ourselves today,” I started with my kids on our way home from both a Valentine’s Day activity and receiving ashes, “If, when we die, we want to be remembered for our sinfulness or for what we did to ease the suffering in the world caused by sinfulness. Will we be remembered for how we loved or for how we hurt?”

What actions can we — as a community of faith — do to love more than we hurt?

We can work to dismantle the hatred and bigotry that often lead to such violent acts. We can commit to nurturing those who feel overwhelmed by loneliness and isolation. We can work to effect the legislative changes necessary to reduce gun violence. We can create systems that assist those whose needs outweigh their resources. We can take steps to build strong, welcoming communities that embrace all people. 

Responding to the mass shooting in Las Vegas in 2017, the Episcopal organization Bishops United Against Gun Violence wrote, “We must look into our own hearts and examine the ways in which we are culpable or complicit in the gun violence that surrounds us every day.”

We at St. Andrew’s express our prayers for and solidarity with all those affected by the school shooting in Parkland, Florida. We vow to take action to eliminate our own complicity in violence and to help heal a nation lost to grief.
​


You can read the entire statement from Bishops United Against Gun Violence here and their more recent statement regarding school shootings here. 

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Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day are the Perfect Pair — Here’s Why

2/11/2018

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by Paula M. Fitzgibbons
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My husband and I got engaged on Valentine’s Day. It was pretty cliché, actually, right down to him on one knee and the band at the French restaurant playing Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” as the entire restaurant toasted the occasion. Naturally, I have loved the effervescence of Valentine’s Day ever since. I appreciate having one day a year to celebrate the shiny, sparkly aspects of love.  

It is precisely the sparkle of Valentine’s Day, though, that has some Christians a little concerned about its convergence with Ash Wednesday this year. Whereas Valentine’s Day relies upon mass produced glitz to highlight romance — the most plastic version of love, Ash Wednesday has traditionally utilized ashes —  a symbol of death — and fasting to express our penitence and consider our mortality.

The two days don’t seem to have a lot in common. And really, the thought of feasting on cheerfully bright candy hearts while our foreheads are marked with the gritty ashes of a fast isn’t all that exciting.

Every February I take some time to reminisce about my husband’s and my Valentine’s Day engagement. I reflect upon the origins of our relationship and how it has changed since that night. Those early years, including our wedding, were full of the kind of sparkle that epitomizes Valentine’s Day.

The reality, though, is that our shared experiences since then — like the exhaustion brought on by parenting, financial struggles, illnesses, and the deaths of loved ones, have done more to fortify our relationship than romantic dinners and voluptuous bouquets ever could. In fact, it recently struck me, as I thumbed through our wedding album while my husband massaged my feet — a task he does nightly to soothe the pain brought on by Rheumatoid Arthritis — that the aspects of our marriage that most strengthen our love for one another are far more ashy than sparkly.

Perhaps adding ashes to a day devoted to sparkle is exactly the grounding Valentine’s Day has been missing. Love is a gritty endeavor. When we enter into any relationship that relies upon love to thrive, we must do so with the understanding that there might be as many lows as highs, that we might lose as much as we gain, that we might fast as much as we feast.

On Ash Wednesday, we read from the prophet Isaiah,

The Lord will guide you continually,
and satisfy your needs in parched places,
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters never fail.


We are assured that God’s presence strengthens us when we are most in need. Whether our sparkle is fresh or hidden beneath ashes, God continually delivers both forgiveness and hope — a message we need to hear as profoundly on Valentine’s Day as on Ash Wednesday.


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Ash Wednesday: A Proclamation of Love

2/8/2018

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by The Rev. Brenda Sol, Rector
PictureThese hearts were made at a St. Andrew's women's retreat.
Strangely enough, Ash Wednesday falls on Valentine’s Day this year (maybe even wilder is that Easter will be on April Fool’s Day!). Not so strangely, on both Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday, a proclamation of our dependence on the beloved is made.

Although most of us wouldn’t identify our emotions as “dependence” on Valentine’s Day, and the “beloved” is focused on our most treasured humans instead of God, we are claiming we’d rather not be without that person. Conversely, we probably don’t think of our confessions on Ash Wednesday as a proclamation of love. And, yet, a confession and an oath of love are very much related.

The point I’m trying to make is simplified in the over-used phrase embedded in many Country Western lyrics: “Your love makes me want to be a better man.” So on Valentine’s Day we say to our beloved, “I like who I am when I’m with you.” And on Ash Wednesday, we say to God, “Because of your love, I want to be a better person.” The inextricable link between the two ideas is highlighted in scripture: “We love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19).”

Lent is referred to as “the season of penitence,” but if we focus only on the part of confession that lists our “manifold sins and wickedness,” as described in Holy Eucharist Rite I, we don’t overlook the opportunity for repentance. God’s intention is for metanoia, which is the in Greek word for repentance.

While penance is a very necessary acknowledgement of the ways we have fallen short of our plan to live a holy life, repentance is about a transformative change of heart. At the most basic level, metanoia is about turning back to God, so that we are once again open to, and aware of, the depth and breadth of God’s love — despite our brokenness; despite our pain; despite our close-mindedness.

May you experience this Lenten season as practice of self- awareness—instead of self-flagellation—and may your discoveries open you to more hope, more love, and more joy in the knowledge that God is at work in your words, in your actions, AND in your loving. Lenten blessings to you!


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